One of my hobbies, apart from blogging is writing short stories or poems. As time goes by, I’m going to share them with you. Here is one:
Chasing a dream
We went as far as the car would take us, because we had a plan and no one could have stopped us.
It all started one month ago when we first met. Jack was the bad boy I’ve always wanted, but was afraid to have and I was in my last year of high school, getting ready for life, not really knowing what that means. It was love of first sight, right there in front of the high school gate where I first saw him. He was riding his motorbike and I was mesmerized by this James Dean, with blond hair combed back and blue eyes that made me melt. I couldn’t even say my name when one common friend introduced us.
“I’m…um…nice to meet you!” it was all I could manage.
“So, what’s your name, if it’s not too much to ask?” said Jack, with a melting smile on his face.
“Gill, I’m Gill. That’s my name.” –acting more like I was trying to convince myself that was my name.
And from that moment on, everything changed. Sleepless nights, crazy parties, we were living a life out of movies and I loved it. I saw a part of me I never thought existed. I couldn’t let it go away, so that is why three days ago we decided to run away. I was only 18 and Jack was 21, but we were ready or, at least, we seemed to be.
Jack rented a car and suggested to cross the border and go to one of his friend who lived in another state. Our plan was simple: work for one year here and there, to get going, and after hit LA, where we could try-like many others before us- some acting. A very fragile plan, but for our young minds and hearts worked pretty well.
Plans are good even though sometimes life isn’t a fairy-tale and things never work, as much as you want them to. Our car broke, in the middle of the night, halfway through. We decided to hitch-hike and get where we wanted. But as we were waiting for a car to show up, Jack had a change of heart.
“I don’t know Gill, maybe this was a sign.”
“A sign of what?” I asked, not understanding exactly where this is coming from.
“Like maybe we should stop. We rented a car and it broke, what are the odds of this to happen anyway. And our plan…” He said all these without looking at me.
“Our plan what? You were the one who suggested in the first place. We decided…” – I didn’t know what else to say.
“Yeah…” he shrugged.
“What’s wrong? You don’t want to do it anymore? You want to go back?” I already knew the answers, but wasn’t ready to admit them.
“I don’t know. Sort of… You know, we are very young and this, all this is kind of serious.” –he looked at me while saying all these, the fear of the unknown visible in his blue eyes.
“You’re kidding me. You want to go back after all you put me through? “- I was furious and couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. “You know what, just go ahead. Just leave. I was stupid for believing a word you said. This, whatever it is, it’s over.”
I didn’t want him to see me cry. I was too proud to show my weakness. A little too late for that now.
“Please don’t cry. It’s just that I’m not ready and either are you.” He came closer and was trying to wipe my tears. I pushed him away, not wanting any comfort from him anymore. It’s like something died inside of me.
“Like you would know anything. Just go and leave me alone.” I didn’t want to see him anymore, but at the same time I wanted to hold him and never let him go. I guess my pride won this time.
Jack left. I wanted him to beg for forgiveness, but maybe that happens only in movies with happy endings. I wanted him to change his mind. He never did.
I called my friend, she came to pick me up. I was devastated but realized, for the first time in my life, that some things are just not meant to be.
I never saw Jack again, though sometimes I wished I would. I finished high school and his memory is starting to fade away. Sometimes I still wonder if it was real or just my imagination. And if he was real, he’s now just the boy I went with one night, as far as the car would take us.