One of the books, that helped me find my way and find happiness was El arte de no amargarse la vida (The art of not making your life bitter) by Rafael Santandreu. Unfortunately it has only a Spanish version. Too bad, because this is not a self-help book we are used too, but a scientific discipline with over 2000 studies that can transform your thoughts and life. Here are 5 things I learned from this book:
- Improving our relationship with ourselves is required in order to be happy.
Only by accepting who we are for what we are, can remove all the negative thoughts and feelings that keep us for being happy.
- We are the victims of necessities.
Having the wrong impression that we need so many things in order to be happy, we lose touch with things that really matter.
- In order to live happily we have to set barriers between yearning/ obsession and necessity.
- Set borders and be aware of your limitations.
In one interview the author made a connection between ecology and psychology stating that we won’t ever save the planet if we don’t give up on some things stuck into our brains. Constantly being in a competition with the others leads to irrational consumption of goods and energy.
- Stop being co-dependent in relationships.
We often see in the ones we love a necessity, someone to make us happy. And if the loved one fails to do that, we are disappointed and end up breaking up. When in reality we don’t need somebody to make us happy, because the happiness is in ourselves, ready to be found. You are ready to be with somebody when you don’t need that person.
These are only some lessons I’ve learned by reading this book, but truth to be told, it really changed the way I see the world and life in general. It help me understand things and become a more powerful individual.
If you know Spanish or have a Spanish friend who can translate you the book, here it is.