For a long time now, writing has been my therapy. Writing and music. They go hand in hand and today I need some therapy. I am sad and I have to take it out, otherwise it will get worse in the days to come. I lost a soul, I got attached to, a bit too soon. It just happened and some feelings you can’t control, no matter how hard you’d try.
I have never been a person who gets attached easily, I even had attachment issues for some time. But people change, time and facts change you and that happen to me. Won’t go into details because I want to write about that thing that bothers me today.
Two days ago while U.B. and I went to the corner shop we encountered a small dog which seemed lost. He started following us and even waited for us until we came out from the shop. We had no idea what to do since he was no intention to go different direction and no one knew where he came from. So we decided to give him some water and food since he followed us home. He didn’t move from our door and started crying so we let him in. Next day, went shopping for an hour or so and thought he would have gone, but when I got home he was crying at our door there after 15 minutes or so. We spent my day off together and I made a new lovely friend, just to lose him today due to my working schedule. He wasn’t there when I came back from work and couldn’t find it in the surroundings. His food and water were still there and I couldn’t believe he was gone. I gave him freedom to choose what he wants to do and so he did. He wasn’t my dog, he wasn’t my property and so I couldn’t lock him in the house. He is free and being free you can do what you want.
The sad thing, the one that makes me sad is that he chose to go and not stay. Maybe we weren’t enough for him, maybe we were just an episode in his life. I’m trying to find the meaning of all this and I’m confused. Can’t figure it out. I feel a bit empty now like I had a child and don’t have him anymore. I can’t believe I attached to him after two days and he didn’t care. This is a first for me and maybe that’s why it hurts so much. Rejection, that’s it. I gave it all and got nothing in return. You can expect it from people, but animals should be more caring. Especially dogs. Not this one. I guess he was a player and I fell for it like stupid. There you go, this was the lesson and if I didn’t write it down I would have suffered here like an idiot.
My advice: never trust dogs you meet on the street and follow you home. They are playing you.
Still miss him though…
P.S. While writing these words was listening to this mix
UPDATE: Found out this morning that a neighbor chased the dog with an umbrella. No wonder he didn’t come back. I’m sorry for thinking he played me, when in reality it’s always people’s fault. We are the real evil in this world…I hope he is safe, wherever he is. Take care everyone!