Night is a time to reflect. All those minutes, when you helplessly try to fall asleep, are always an inspiration, that being the moment when my ideas come to life. In those dim hours a question always starts bugging my thoughts. Last night was this one: Are we all equal or not?
The social status, the nationality and our achievements make us different in some ways. We lose or gain some of our privileges thanks to them. When we are born and inherit a certain body, our chances are limitless. But we don’t grow up knowing that. We grow up with people telling us what to do. We grow up not knowing the possibilities we have and end up broken adults.
Being born in a communist country and watching a live Revolution on TV at the age of 4, I remember how everything used to be back then. Once a month I accompanied my grandmother to get the food ratio. I will never forget the insalubrious basement and the pungent smell of rancid oil. It was making my 3 years old self sick. Power cuts were regular, due to economy reasons and the news were always followed by a message from our president. Choices were inexistent as there was only one national TV channel. Plus, not everyone owned a TV back then. At 7 am there were the same Russian cartoons about a wolf and the rabbit. I guess the messages were subliminal even then. Freedom of speech or critical thinking were notions we weren’t familiar with. Communism tried to make people equal, but the outcomes were devastating.
You see, people raised under such circumstances become challenged adults. The old mentality was kept long after dictatorship fell. In school, you were not allowed to tell your opinions on a subject and the moment the teacher was in class, the room suddenly became a crypt, cold and silent. Everyone was afraid to speak. No speaking your mind, no asking questions. We were there but we weren’t. This being the situation, everything becomes challenging. First is the inner battle you’re fighting, then it’s the one you initiate with the new and different. With everything you are not.
Fear is what we got in return from the totalitarian regime. Fear to speak up, fear to have a free conversation, fear of being the odd one out. Traditional family was a replica of this fear. Children feared their parents and were smacked every time they did something wrong. While in some cases words were enough to make the child understand, in most scenarios children were severely punished by their parents ( including humiliation in front of peers, serious spanking that left visible bruises etc.)
I’ve seen parents beating their children, I’ve heard my colleagues begging and I’ve cried. Maybe not literally, but my soul was crying. I knew this was not a normal behaviour since it never happened in my family. But it did affect me. It did changed my perspective on people and their ways. I started questioning things and peered behind individual masks. I became more intrusive and less docile. And I realised people might be equal, but human beings are not. We are presented by our actions and the less you do, the less you are. We try to prove the others wrong, by presenting ourselves as perfect. We look like we have everything together, but we know nothing. Self-obsession deprives our minds of looking at the big picture. We see only what our eyes want to see and look for God only when we are desperate. We fail to understand that the ascension towards God is steep and needs lots of spiritual training. And before you know it, you’re down again, at the bottom, where you began. We want purification, but fail to notice our rotten souls. And then we ask: “Why God? Why me?”
And all these lead me to the topic that gave me headaches this week. The Norwegian state deprived a half Romanian family from their 5 children, due to the physical punishment the parents were giving their children (under Bodnariu case). Now, there’s a big deal in Romania and people are, of course, blaming Norway. A short online research will lead you to plenty of articles written by Romanians in English, clamming all sorts of illegal things happening in Norway. All my fellow Romanians don’t seem to notice that accusations were true and that in Norway it’s illegal to spank your children. Most of them also fail to notice that our mentality in raising children is totally wrong. And when I pointed that out on Social Media, many people didn’t even want to hear about it. I do not agree with that law, but I don’t know the case too well. We only have parents side of the story and that makes it incomplete. Few are the ones daring to point that out and if they do, they’re soon rudely addressed by the crowd. I couldn’t find a reply from the Norwegian state to these accusations.
Is it the fact that we always want to take victims side and by doing that we feel better or the fact we don’t acknowledge our flaws? Do people think that by protesting against that law they are getting closer to God? Does ignorance make you a good person? Either way, there’s always more than the eye can see and there are always two sides of the story. Maybe that’s why critical thinking wasn’t taught in communists schools.
Overall, I do hope those parents, if innocent, will be given their children back. And if this is a mistake made by Child Welfare Services, than I’m sure legal measures will be taken against it. It is a great tragedy to lose all your kids, but as someone wise once said “There’s no smoke without a fire”.
This might have turned into my longest post ever, but I had to write my views and opinions. Feel free to comment and tell me your thoughts on the subject.
As for today’s song (since the subject was children related) here’s a video and voice that will melt your heart for sure.
All the best and keep it up!