As I was looking through the peanuts skins for the lost treasure I had a revelation. Actually more of a question than a revelation: Do we grow up or do we grow old? How much of our younger selves stays with us over the years?
In my basic behaviour there are things that didn’t change from my infancy. They are childish and don’t suit a grown woman, but they are me, my own trademark, I will never give up on. For example, cheese is still my favourite food as 25 years ago, but I’m still fussy about white cheese and its smell and taste. I still don’t like lamb, even after 25 years of people perusing me to try it. I still love doing things by myself, same as I liked playing alone as a child. My obsession with washing hands didn’t go either, but now I see it as a normal thing. And there are other more things I continue doing same as I did in my infancy.
Maybe we just don’t grow up. The inner child stays the same, never gets old. It’s just the appearance that changes and the faces we show to the world. Deep down, we are still children who have fun playing and doing all the odd things children do. When I look into the mirror I can still see the 5 year old self without her two front teeth making silly faces. I am that girl and I will never give up on her silly behaviour. Because she’s part of me, the part that makes me shine and feel alive.
Maya Angelou has a very nice answer to my questions:
“I am convinced that most people do not grow up. We find parking spaces and honour our credit cards. We marry and dare to have children and call that growing up. I think what we do is mostly grow old. We carry accumulation of years in our bodies and on our faces, but generally our real selves, the children inside, are still innocent and shy as magnolias.

We may act sophisticated and worldly but I believe we feel safest when we go inside ourselves and find home, a place where we belong and maybe the only place we really do.”

And Hugh MacLeod describes perfectly how important it is for creativity to never lose the contact with your inner child
“Everyone is born creative; everyone is given a box of crayons in kindergarten. Then wen you hit puberty they take the crayons away and replace them with dry, uninspiring books on algebra, history, etc. Being suddenly hit years later with the ‘creative bug’ is just a wee voice telling you, ‘I’d like my crayons back, please.”

Caring my crayons in my bag I am ready to draw and colour a world the 5 years old little girl will be proud of.
Celebrating the inner voices let’s listen to a song I loved as a child:

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