On life and love with Edda and Earl

“Earl, do you remember when we met?”

“I remember it was a cold winter far colder than this one. And I was getting home from school. You were being chased by a gaggle and were trying to get away from that gander, which was not ready to give up on attacking you.” Earl chuckles at the thought.

“Well my dear, you have a really good memory, for an old man,” jokes Edda, “and you also saved my life that day. Well, maybe saved is not a very appropriate word, but at the time it seemed like that.”

“And that was not the only time I saved you”. Earl looked at Edda and gave her a soft smile.

“You are right, that was not the only time you saved me, my love,” replied Edda and nodded lost in thoughts.

Clara’s Adventures

Hey, it’s me, Clara! You don’t know me yet, but you will. I mean you will, through my stories and what I have to say. Which is not very important for the world, but it is for me, cause it’s my life. And my life has had some ups and downs some bumps along the way. But what life is perfect? Who can raise a hand and claim their life is perfect? Right! ? I though so. No one, that is who.

So this is a photo of me, obviously, taken on my trip to London in 2018. Great times, heh? Well they were great because they weren’t these times, which are a bit awful, to be honest. And frankly, I don’t even know where we’re heading to! But let’s forget for a moment about the current situation and focus on the past. Sometimes it’s a good exercise to escape the present.

So I went to London, which I enjoyed, but it was so brief that I can’t remember much. Also the hangover from the night before, didn’t help. I was impressed by the grandeur of Canary Wharf, The Tower of London, The Shard-which can be seen in the picture, they are all great and iconic, but I felt like something was missing.

I love big cities, but not to live in them. I like people watching, imagining their stories, but I couldn’t be one of them. I’m such a free spirit who couldn’t be trapped in a city doing an office job from 9 to 5. I find it too boring and soul consuming. But I also get it, I get why people choose these jobs and fight for them. It’s just not my scene.

So that was that, London was great, but I was glad when went back to Manchester, in my old shared Victorian house, and quiet neighbourhood. Well, quiet most of the times. But more about that next time. There are still so many stories to tell, but we’ve got time.

Until next time, be happy, think outside the box, be you! Clara xx

On the construction site

It’s getting late and we still have so much to work. Cracking this is taking the life out of us. And when you think about it, this is only one out of hundreds we have to finish. I guess we need more team mates. After today, I don’t know how much we are going to last. Finally, another colleague came to the rescue, but it was kind of late when he arrived. That’s that for the day, I’m exhausted, but at least I did something good today, I cracked a nut. 

The Enchanted Forest

‘Have I ever told you I used to be a fairy?’ 

The children looked at her incredulously. 

‘Of course I used to be a fairy, how else could I have lived in an enchanted forest?’ 

‘What’s an enchanted forest, Miss?’

‘Oh, didn’t you know? An enchanted forest is where dreams come to life and where fairies have the time of their lives. Every night, after the dark sets in and only the moon and stars are at duty, all the fairies come out to play, dance, sing and fly, having the best time.’

‘So what happened next?’ came a little voice from the back of the classroom. 

‘Why are you so eager to know? Why can’t we stay in the happy moments, the moments of bliss, where everything is good and nothing bad can happen? I guess it’s human nature to do that.’

‘What is uman nature, Miss?’, asked a little boy. 

‘It’s human nature and it’s the way people are and behave in general. Adults like to hurry, you want to grow up and we all forget to have fun and live in the moment. We forget that the essence of life is being here and now. It’s the only thing we have’, her eyes glazed as she was saying these words, more to herself than to her audience. 

‘So what happened next, Miss? Tell us!!!’ another girl interrupted her complex thoughts. 

Children were very impatient, she noticed. It’s a trait they maintain throughout their lives. How she could teach them patience was still a mystery, but she wasn’t ready to give up yet. She still had some time left. 

‘To find out the answer to that question, you have to wait until tomorrow, because stories take time and patience. If you hurry them, they will lose their magic.’

Diary through anxiety

Isn’t “used to” such a complex, depressing structure?

I used to smile… I used to have fun… I used to be happy…

But now I’m not any of those. Now… I struggle. And the more I struggle, the more I realize “used to” is an awful structure that seems to be stuck with me like a chewing gum on the soles of my new shoes.

And it’s not only that, it’s also the lack of joy I try to comprehend. I used to be the soul of the party… Or was that a simple mask I wore, in order to hide my true self?

One thing is for sure though. The more I spend my time trying to get to the bottom of my depression and anxieties, the more confused I become.

It’s like wandering aimlessly through an empty, dark hall, with no exit and no sourse of ligh. Darkness sorrounds you until you also become it.

And there are so many reasons to be happy with life, so many. But they seem to play like an old film strip before my eyes and I am incapable of reaching them, of touching them… Of feeling them.

An empty carcass, void from happiness.

Day 27: What’s in my closet?

A big mess, that’s what in my closet. That comes to show some things may never change.

Psychochromatic Redemption

Just finished a quick tidy up in my closet, before getting ready to go out. I wouldn’t have done it, but couldn’t find my mascara nor my kohl pencil. So I had to search everywhere. The toughest part was my closet, because, man, that place is like a labyrinth. You or your hand can easily get lost between objects, bags and clothes. A big mystery box, that’s what it is. The problem is that it’s too small for all my things. I won’t name now all the things that reside in my closet, because it will take all night, but must say that I have shelves with all sorts of clothes, depending on my mood, shelves with bags, shelves with all unnecessary things I never wear or use. Even found a rock-star wig and sunglasses (I used them for carnival, don’t get the wrong ideas) That gets me thinking I spend…

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